Stay tuned for another enthralling episode of ... "Things that Go in my Mouth!"

Picky eater: I eat beans, I eat cheese, I eat BROWN RICE!

Overheard in Collins by Not a Nutritionist But...

I can only get it up for guys with at least a gig of RAM

CMC Nerd: I mean, he's a nice guy...he just doesn't know shit about computers.

Overheard at the Hub by Making Friends for Dummies

That was awesome!! All right, now slam your cock in this car door!!

On the 2nd floor balcony of a dorm at 2 in the morning:
CMC guy with a beer bottle 1: Dude I have a great idea!
CMC guy with a beer bottle 2: What?
CMC guy 1: *walks into room, comes out with a bike, and chucks it off the balcony, watching it bounce down the road*
CMC guy 2: awesome!

-Overheard by passerby slightly afraid for one's life

Sounds like the worst case scenario

Typical Pomona Student: So we were on the road, right, and we saw this person driving ahead of us. She was both Asian AND a girl, so we knew there'd be trouble...

Overheard by luncher in Frank

Yeah, I heard that CHOCOLATE blah blah blah SEX OMG!!!

Scrippsie: You guys! I just came up with a NEW WORD!.....CHOCGASMIC. It's when you eat chocolate and its so good, its CHOCGASMIC.

Overheard at Scripps Dining Hall by Hate Grime

None of my real friends blow less than .12

Alcoholic: Man, I never like parties like Smiley 80's, where everybody at the school goes and gets super drunk, because then I have to take care of somebody who never usually drinks and got too wasted as a result. I mean, this is why I surround myself with alcoholics, so I don't have to deal with shit like that.

Overheard round town by will

All stunts were performed by professional sluts and should not be attempted by amateurs

CMC girl 1: "and then what happened?"
CMC girl 2: "We tried to get into an Eifel Tower but we got tangled in the sheets and fell off the bed."

Overheard by Evan and Nate near a fence

No, man...it's not like that this time! We're in love!

CMCer #1: Dude. I hooked up with this random chick last night after Smiley80s. I don't remember her name.
CMCer #2: Dude. You and your non-diSCRIPPSies.

Overheard at Collins Brunch by a Disappointed Stag

That's no zucchini, that's my wife you son of a bitch!

Wasted Kid in Exhibition line: I want everything in it, except for zucchini. (To friend) Man, zucchini is a BULLSHIT-ass vegetable.


Overheard by veggie-lover at frary

The fatal flaw with gender neutral bathrooms

A bathroom has a sign with a boy and a girl on it, indicating that both can use it:

Drunk girl (looking very worried): "Oh NO!! Do I need a friend to go in there?"

Overheard by Saoirse at pitzer

Yo quiero caviar

(Students at a private elementary school in claremont)

7 yr old #1: And one time, I got my finger smashed in a door in Mexico!

7 yr old #2: Where in Mexico were you?

7 yr old #1: Oh I can't remember, we were all over the place.

7 yr old #3: Well, do you at least remember which cruise you were on?

Overheard by Melissa at foothill country day

An Eggstraordinary Coinceggdence

Some girl: I can't believe I got gonorhea - again!

Overheard by katie outside scripps

It's a funny story, actually..

Conversation about a pillow that says "sisters" on it -
Drunk Pomona girl #1: Who made this for you?
Drunk Pomona girl#2: My step-mom.
Drunk Pomona girl #1: You and your step-mom are sisters?

Overheard in Mudd-Blaisdell by a concerned student

No pun intended

Dude: Sociology is like majoring in your period.

Overheard by Ryan in Frank

Nice going, Bruce Poch

two freshmen girls are trying to figure out the waffle maker at brunch.

freshman girl #1: how does this work?

freshman girl #2: i dont know...i think you pour it in here...

freshman girl #1: ok...

freshman girl #2 (holding up the bottle of no-stick spray): oh my gosh!!!!! it's JUST like my leave-in conditioner!!!!!!!!

freshman girl #1: oh my gosh!!!!!! i LOVE my leave-in conditioner!!!!!!!!

overheard by a concerned bagel-toaster in Frank

Yeah, we should really go down there

Ditzy Blond: We should go to the thrift stores soon because they always get eaten out right before Smiley 80s.

Overheard in Frank Dining Hall by Lech

Yeah man, its in like, the constitution or whatever

Feisty freshman athlete: No means yes, and yes means up the ass.

Overheard by more than bemused

C'mon, don't tell me you haven't looked for it...

Guy to his friend: "...Harriet Tubman porn..."

Overheard by evan's friend