this one stands on itself

Complete Meathead: Hey, do you know who Prof. Elliott is?

Not Meathead: Yeah.

Complete Meathead: Is he tight? Is he, like, American?

Not Meathead: Yeah. I guess you could say that. If you really want to know, he's kind of like the school's leading contrarian.

Complete Meathead: Cunt?

Not Meathead: Uhh...yeah, he's real American.

Complete Meathead: Tight.

Overheard in North Quad by Alex.

Send us a title, if we pick it, we'll suck your balls

CMC Jock 1 to Jock 2: Dude, if I get All-American, you're going to have to suck on my balls!
CMC Jock 3, demonstrating with large banana: No, no, dude, dude... and if he gets All-American you're going to have to stick his dick all the way down your throat!
CMC Jock 2: I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.

overheard by a Scrippsie at Collins

40/m/claremont

middle-aged crafts fair attendee: I used to go over to their house back when they had that stripper....

-Claremont Village Venture, at a lawn ornaments booth

last time I e-mail my prof for an extension

scripps girl: It took so much strength to write that message without including the words "you fucktard"


overheard by a confused scripps girl on the lawn

whats the emoticon for 'i'm pregnant'?

scripps girl: I sent him a message saying "Damn, I couldn't resist making babies with you"

overheard by a surprised scripps girl in a dorm

a/s/l?

Whiny Girl to Friends: you know, i really think i deserve a new ringtone...

i mean, i totally hate the one i have right now, and on top of that, my vibrator's broken!

Overheard by Julie at Julie's House

DendrophiliaXXX

[loud thud]

Belligerent Drunk Dude: hey FUCK YOU tree!

Overheard by Julie at Julie's House

Girls LOOOVE Dick

Peppy Girl on cellphone: ...Oh and William sent me a picture of his penis! That was exciting!

Overheard by Claudia at Scripps